Motherhood
I’ve been a little out of commission these past few days. We celebrated Lakyn’s 5th birthday, went to the Parade of Lights at Zilker Park, and various other things that have kept me busy.
Lakyn had a wonderful birthday. I had a sense of guilt because every year she’s always had a big extravagant party with tons of friends and family but since we’ve recently moved away from said friends and family, she had a small birthday this year with us and her two cousins that live here. She kept asking when her “party” was. But all in all, I really think she had a wonderful time. We went to Jungle Java which is her new favorite place. She asks to go there everyday. We had lunch with daddy downtown and I took her to Walmart and let her pick out all the stuff for her birthday cake which she helped bake and decorate. It was a great day.
Then we went to the Parade of Lights at Zilker Park and it was amazing! It was like going to the fair but with Christmas lights galore. They even had funnel cake. Yum! The kids really enjoyed themselves and I felt like a kid while we were there. I think it’s good to let your inner child that’s filled with imagination surface every once in a while. It’s good for the soul.
Several things happened this weekend that made me really appreciate being a mother but also value motherhood in general. I know that I never truly understood my mother until I had children of my own. Since that time, I have such a great respect for her.
While we were at Jungle Java, a little girl fell on one of the slides. Fell hard. Like the entire place heard the thud followed by the cry of the hurt girl. I found it absolutely fascinating that simply from the sound of the cry, the mother instantly knew that it was her little girl who was hurt. I think to most, crying just sounds like crying. But to mothers, each child has a distinct cry that makes them recognizable. The mother immediately rushed over, picked up her little girl and began to caress and comfort her and I was in complete awe of this beautiful, raw moment. She possessed the correct touch and soothing voice to comfort her child instantly. It was pretty impressive.
Then I read a blog, themommyblog.net, and was amazed again. She talked about how they were really hard on money right now and how she had gotten a disconnect notice from the water company and she hadn’t eaten all day as to “preserve” the food for the kids since they were out of school for the holidays.
I could totally relate to her situation. Lord knows we’ve had our share of financial difficulty and my heart went out to her because I know exactly how she’s feeling. And I thought about how remarkable it was that she would deny herself nourishment to save it for her children. Completely selfless.
These things just got me thinking about how truly honoring it is to be a mother and sometimes we don’t even know it. Sometimes, actually more often never, are we acknowledged for it. It’s just what we do. We beat up on ourselves and wonder if we’re really doing whats right by our kids but I think it’s the little things that matter. It’s us recognizing our child’s cry in a room full of 100 children. It’s the little sacrifices we make so that our kids can have the absolute best we can offer.
Watching and reading about these mothers this weekend just made me proud to call myself a mommy and put myself in the same “boat” as these amazing women. They are inspirational. They are mothers.
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Lakyn
Dear Lakyn,
You are such an exceptional little girl. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with you I knew you were special.
You gave mommy a heck of a time during pregnancy but every bit of it was worth it. You are remarkable.
You have the most beautiful face I’ve ever seen. Pearly white, flawless skin and crystal blue eyes that light up like stars. You have a smile bright enough to lighten up any dark mood or room.
You are a humongous ball of energy. Honestly, sometimes I just cannot keep up with you. I wish I could. I wish I had the drive to enjoy life to the fullest the way you do. Life with you never includes a dull moment.
You are such an amazing older sister. Even now, while playing at the playground you’re standing up for your younger brother. You have such a nurturing spirit and there is no doubt in my mind that you will one day (in the far away future) make an excellent mother.
Even though at times it’s an extreme challenge, I love your independence. It gives me confidence that you’re in fact a leader not a follower and I trust you’ll lead in the right direction.
I love you more than words can say. You’re my pookie pie sunshine.
Happy Birthday!
Love,
Mommy
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Fail
I feel like a total failure today.
First, I was procrastinating doing anything productive by watching the videos on Momversation, which I’ve become totally addicted to. It makes me feel like I’m some part of a mommy community and I’m best friends with all these people I’ve never met. It’s mommy crack.
Anyway, Holden starts crying because he got hit with a soccer ball. Please understand that crying occurs at my house about every 10 seconds so I don’t really jump up at every “Whaaaaaaaa”. I paused my video and told him to come here and quickly assessed him. No blood or bumps so I told him “You’re okay. Suck it up. Why don’t you sit right here and play with this toy?”. He quickly quit crying and became distracted with the toy and I turned around and resumed watching my video.
About 5 minutes later, Lakyn comes into the kitchen and says “Oh my gosh, Holden’s bleeding!!”. Sure enough, the child has a bloody nose. Ugh. I feel awful. I was so preoccupied with this video that I didn’t even notice his nose was bleeding.
He is okay though. We didn’t have to make any rushes to the ER so I guess that’s good. Just a wet paper towel to clean him up and he was good as new. But I’m torn to pieces inside. I definitely will not be winning the “Mother of the Year” award for this one. Fail….
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The sleep off
Every weekend, I find myself completely exhausted. I’ve spent the whole week wrangling kids and I’m just pooped. And all I want to do is sleep in.
Apparently, my husband is also exhausted from his week of work because it never fails come Saturday and Sunday, we find ourselves in a “sleep off”.
I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. You wake up to the sound of lively unsupervised children terrorizing the house. Yet you stay in bed, pretending to be dead asleep, anxiously awaiting for the other parent to get up out of bed and take care of the kids so you can sleep in.
Sometimes, I get lucky and the kids will run into the room yelling “Daddy! Daddy! Get up! We want donuts!”. And he’s forced at their hand to get up out of bed while I pretend to be completely lifeless so I can catch a few more zzzzzz’s. Other times, I’m not so lucky.
It really is a skill you have to work hard to master, pretending to be asleep. You can’t make any movements to suggest that you might possibly be awake or it’s all over. No sounds or you’re screwed. TJ and I have had about 5 years of practice so we’ve gotten to be pretty good at it.
Sometimes on those weekend mornings when I’ve “lost” the sleep off, I’ll look at TJ and be like “Faker. I know you’re totally awake loser”. And I’ll see a little twinge of a smile to confirm but alas, he won the battle so I give him another hour or so before I send the kids in to jump on the bed. That’s fair, right?
2 Comments | Filed in Family, Kids, Quirky
A trip to the museum
Today, I took the kids to the Austin Children’s Museum. It was awesome!!! They had so many neat little toys that were educational and gave me the morning off to hang out. I liked playing with the toys as much as the kids. The only rough part was trying to keep the two together. We managed. I will say Lakyn was a little disappointed they didn’t have any giant slides but I think she sets her expectations a little high.
On to other things…
I follow this blog, barefootfoodie.com, and she is freaking hilarious. I have to say that it brings me a little bit of peace to know that I’m not the only one that has those kinds of thoughts or weird situations happen to them. Anyway, while reading her blog I found that one of her blogger friends—Anissa—has recently suffered a stroke. She’s in her twenties with 3 kids. Holy Crap. My heart just broke. Come to find out, her youngest child was diagnosed with leukemia, however is in remission so that’s wonderful news.
So I was nonetheless touched by the story. I went to her blog and found that her husband has been keeping updates on hope4peyton.org about her status. It’s truly been a miracle. She’s making progress. And though I’ve never even remotely met this woman, my heart goes out to her and her family. It makes my little annoyances seem trivial.
1 Comments | Filed in Kids, People, Play Time